33 Comments
Sep 9Liked by Rick Morton

Okay! Wrap your head with cling wrap and ask Deb to slather it with peanut butter. While Jack licks the peanut butter off the cling wrap you or Deb clips his nails. Saw this in a meme vet nurses posted on Facebook.

I used to have to get my lad Otter, in a wrestler's grip with my legs to clip his nails. When it was over he would do zombies all around the house. Clipping dogs' nails is not for the faint of heart.

Every time I have seen a headline about that abomination of a man drugging his wife, and having her raped by over 70 men plus himself, I feel my body shrivelling and my breath stopping. Any person who has been raped would feel similar. Even those who have not, would feel similar to that, unless they, too, are abominations. Gisele Pelicot is like the Statue of Liberty shining a very bright light on where the shame needs to be put.

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founding
Sep 10Liked by Rick Morton

Apart from family and friends, yours are the only emails I read as soon as I receive them! The stories, the characters, the writing style: all good for the Spirit!!!

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Well Shirley, I am a Pisces and have a habit of declaring this far too early, but I think I love you.

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Sep 9Liked by Rick Morton

Once again life in all its complexities celebrated in KFC car park ! Love your life stories

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I've spent 25 hours in that booth (and I'm preparing to do it all over again next year) so you have all my condolences. I really regretted writing "rural" (multiple times) and "lactobacillus" when it came time to read them aloud.

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God I hate it I hate it I hate it so much. But I do love realising what words or phonemes are suddenly, inexplicably hard to say. Today it was any combination of in-and-un words in quick succession. Which I suppose makes sense, but it just never comes up!

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For this exact reason I can see that it’s made me a better writer. I was a wreck at the end of the recording week though, and my next book has come in at 175,000 words (tell your midwife sister that it’s a complete guide to postpartum) so they think I’ll need 6-7 days in studio. The lucky producer will enjoy hearing “vaginal” “anal sphincter tear” and “blood, milk, tears” on repeat. Ha!

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Sep 9Liked by Rick Morton

You would think - in an age of email that the licensing centre could have advised you of something!

Another act of revenue raising.

Similar happened to a friend who had triplet toddlers in her car many hears ago - after they stopped sending stickers for the car rego.

Pulled over and told she had no license for a fine she didn’t know she had been given and get out of the car dont drive home!!

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Mum had to drive me home! So slow! Thankfully the suspension was lifted as soon as I called and paid but the consequences may not be so simple...

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Ouch! Good luck!

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Exactly. Why should we bear the guilt - and the cost - when the authorities can't be bothered using communications of the current century to contact us?

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founding

Why on earth does not voting end up in a suspended licence???? MADNESS!!!!

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Sep 10Liked by Rick Morton

Technically in NSW it is not paying any sort of fine that leads to a suspended licence. My daughter lost her licence over nonpayment of parking fines

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160 smackeroos!

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Compulsory Voting apparently leads to Optional Driving. Who knew it?

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Sep 10Liked by Rick Morton

Hi Rick, just signed up on Maggie Mackellar’s recommendation this week !

So glad I did as you have made me burst out laughing twice & written the most meaningful words I have yet read about that French rapist & abuser. Also, I live at the bottom edge of the Scenic Rim so your description of the Yamanto KFC & licence fiasco was familiar in that I could perfectly visualise the drive there, the scenery & the weirdness of being ‘hemmed’ in by the cops on an ordinary day on the edges of Ippy. Great writing. Looking forward to reading the rest. Cheers, Margo

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Margo, welcome! Maggie's book Graft is spectacular. I am rather chuffed!

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Sep 10Liked by Rick Morton

Love it. The mindless cruelty of bureaucracy.

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Sep 10Liked by Rick Morton

Love the Slack. Just to say you and Deb might enjoy this book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Birdology-Adventures-Pigeons-Cantankerous-Hummingbi/dp/1416569847 Has remarkable insights into hens

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I will immediately be buying this for Mum.

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Sep 10Liked by Rick Morton

That’s the technique I use for clipping my 5yo’s toenails. Let me know if you come up with a better one. Concrete is also taking lessons from her.

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Sep 10Liked by Rick Morton

Extremely relatable. I had the same thing happen but in Vic. NSW had suspended my license because they had wanted me to get an eye test but sent it to my old address, not the email address they have on file and used regularly to communicate with me. They also didn’t use that same email address to notify me that my license had been suspended. I now have an outstanding fine in Victoria for driving on a suspended license and am wondering when that will catch up with me…

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Sep 10Liked by Rick Morton

Now I'll be laughing every time I see a KFC and there's a lot of them so I thank you for all the hilarity I will now have because you didn't vote. Love you. 🥰🥰🥰

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I am more than happy to be of service, Jenny!

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Sep 10Liked by Rick Morton

Bon courage! I'm sure you'll be well pleased by the end of it that you persevered through the recording process. Jack would be proud of you, though his mentee, concrete, is unlikely to switch sifus. 😌

Also thanks for the snort of laughter at the gym from the KFC incident. Little else is funny in here.

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Rick, I love reading your newsletter for its wide ranging topics but even more so I love this community of commenters and readers you have gathered, attracted, I can’t think of the word (it’s be One of Those Days). Anyway. What a sweet way to distract myself. You are all so lovely!

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I, apparently, failed to show up for jury duty (due to similar paperwork tardiness) that I did not know about. First indication was the receipt of a fine of $1700. Which is ludicrous. Anyway, I got a Stat Dec to explain and hopefully be exempted from the fine. A few weeks later I got a letter telling me that my Drivers Licence was no longer suspended. Which is great but I have NEVER HAD A DRIVERS LICENCE.

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What on Earth! How to unsuspend the thing that does not exist. I feel like there is a physics joke in there somewhere.

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"The French might have la petite mort post orgasm, but I have mine after sampling the 11 secret herbs and spices. A brief, shameful loss of mind and soul before I swear to never do it again."

Most excellent.

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